Through the practice of contemplative listening, we seek to "listen one another into speech."
That's a really wise insight. But, as someone who has been intently listened to multiple times everyday for the past week, let me testify that it is also possible to listen someone into silence. Think of it as the collateral damage of a spiritual direction training program.
It may be that there is a paucity of active listening in our society, but when I am listened to with great intensity -- with the other person perched on the edge of his or her seat -- it makes me shrink inside. Instead of wanting to share, I was say, "BACK OFF." Or, "get out of my grill!"
I want to be listened to in a relaxed spirit: a non-anxious presence in a hospitable, open, non-judgmental atmosphere. Extra-active listening is filled with the fear of missing something. That's not the point. A good reminder to me as a spiritual director to relax.
2 comments:
in journalism school we learned how to use listening as an interview technique to draw a subject into candidness and away from self-censorship. and elie wiesel says that the "silence between two words ... that makes poetry." he said that to a group of students once and i was among them. a beautiful description of writing and of listening.
see you tomorrow :-)
i like that you're revising your posts as experience/perspective brings added meaning and symbolism. anyway, in the spirit of embracing resistance, i think it would be helpful for you to let the zealous listener know how you reacted to the exercise.
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